I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
