the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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