Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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