The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
