I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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