Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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