ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
