Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
