my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
