I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
