did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
