Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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