Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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