Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
