i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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