Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
