oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
