do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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