Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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