saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
