Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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