Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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