My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
