btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
