Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
