Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
