"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
