My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
