Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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