No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
