As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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