i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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