where am i from again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
