what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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