He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
