There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
