a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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