I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
