If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just want nice things and good sex
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
