When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
