Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
