this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
