I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
