Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
