I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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