Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
