I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
