are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I cut my penus on the lid.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize