I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
