we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
