Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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