so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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