I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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