The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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