Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
