Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
